Take Down the Scaffolding

As a novice novel writer, every day I discover how hard it is to weave an engaging story. For years I’ve enjoyed curling up with a book, ignorant of the work involved in good storytelling. I now savor the masterful way Robert B. Parker slides in a quick fact about Boston in his Spenser series novels without slowing down the story. Or how an 11-year-old snapshot stuck on a refrigerator door illustrates the pain of loss for a young wife and mother in Jodi Picoult’s novel A Change of Heart. I’m always impressed with the way Janet Evanovich reintroduces reoccurring characters in her Stephanie Plum novels without weighing down the reader with excess facts.

“Creating characters’ backstories before you start writing is crucial,” says Rachel Ballon author of Breathing Life Into Your Characters, “because you’ll want to determine each one’s past experiences and the repercussions these experiences will have on your story before you begin.” I’m really good at this part. I write page after page of character history. With great ease, my protagonist’s fun facts, broken dreams and unresolved conflicts pour out of my fingertips.

It’s gets a bit trickier when I have to trim my endless “tell” and trust my readers to get the picture through my “show.” I’ve become pretty successful in building story scaffolding. But once constructed, I’m reluctant to take the support beams off and trust my edifice to it’s own solid foundation.

I’m using all the arrows in my writer’s quiver — dialogue, narration, thoughts, scene setting, description and flashbacks to layer in important facts. I hope to nestle them in throughout the pages, so that the reader feels she’s uncovering tiny treasures along the way, waiting for the payoff – all the facts coming together in a satisfying climax.

Thanks to the patience of my fellow Pageadaywriters, especially Trish, I’ve improved at writing backstory and I’ve even gotten better at knowing when to delete it. Every day, every page, I’m sharpening my writer’s arrows and learning I don’t have to shoot them all at the same time.

A Diamond Anniversary

It seems to be anniversary season. Lots of family and friends have been celebrating wedded bliss during the past few weeks. In fact, my husband Nick and I are coming up on our 29th in a couple days. Not quite a milestone, but still something to be acknowledged.

There are resources to help husbands figure how to commerate those years of marriage. I’m all in favor of ways to take the guesswork out of shopping, but these lists, for the most part, delay the good stuff until many decades of being Mr. & Mrs. have passed. 

In spite of the fact that convention says otherwise, over the years — whenever possible — I’ve vigorously suggested to my husband that every anniversary should be a diamond anniversary. To that end, I’m an advocate of moving diamonds way up on the list.

Nick claims that traditional gifts like linens, wood and clocks are the way to go. If you operate with this mindset, just hang around until your 48th anniversary — there’s some groceries in it for you!

I was disappointed that there is no traditional gift suggestion for the 29th anniversary. The modern idea is furniture. Just what I want, a new couch.I think  Nick was hoping for golf clubs. Somehow we agreed on granite countertops. Not that I’m complaining by any means. Granite is a sturdy substance and signals a strong foundation — one that comes with 29 years of love and compromise.

But still I ponder why is there such a long wait for diamond gift-giving? Those gems don’t show up on some of these lists until the 60th anniversary.  I say give her diamonds early and often. The monthly payments alone will keep you together.

That’s why I continue to promote my “every anniversary is a diamond anniversary” concept wherever and whenever I can. And you can help by spreading the word.

But if you’re married to a traditionalist or if you’re just curious about what the lists suggests, here’s a sample of Traditional, Modern and Jewelry Anniversary gift ideas.

Of course, a night out and a champagne toast are always in good taste.

Anniversary| Traditional| Modern |Alternate gem stones

1st | Paper | Plastic, Clocks| Gold Jewelry
2nd |Cotton | China, Calico | Garnet
3rd| Leather | Crystal, Glass | Jade, Pearls
4th | Fruit, Flowers | Linen, Silk, Nylon | Blue Topaz
5th | Wood | Silverware | Sapphire
6th | Candy |Iron, Wood | Amethyst
7th | Wool, Copper | Brass, Desk sets | Onyx
8th | Bronze, Pottery | Linens, Lace |Tourmaline
9th | Pottery | Willow  Leather | Lapis Lazuli
10th | Tin (Pewter) |Aluminum | Diamond
11th  |Steel | Fashion Jewelry, Turquoise
12th  |Silk | Linen | Opal, Jade
13th | Lace | Textiles, Furs |Citrine
14th |Ivory | Gold | Opal
15th | Crystal | Glass, Watches | Ruby
16th | ——| Silver holloware | Peridot
17th | —— | Furniture | Watch
18th | —— | Porcelain | Chrysoberyl, Cat’s Eye
19th | —— | Bronze |Aquamarine
20th | China | Platinum | Emerald
21st  | —— | Brass, Nickel | Iolite
22nd | —— | Copper | Spinet
23rd | —— | Silver plate | Imperial Topaz
24th | —— | Musical instruments | Tanzanite
25th | Silver | Sterling Silver | Silver Jubilee
26th | —— | Pictures | —– |
27th | —— | Sculpture | —– |                                                                            
28th | —— | Orchids |
29th | —— | New furniture | —– |
30th | Pearl | Diamond | Pearl Jubilee
31st |—— | Timepieces | —– |
32nd | —— | Transportation | —– |
33rd | —— | Amethyst | Amethyst
34th  |—— | Opal | Opal
35th | Coral | Jade | Emerald
36th | —— | Bone China | —– |
37th|  ——| Alabaster | —– |
38th |—— | Beryl, Tourmaline | Beryl
39th | —— | Lace | —– |
40th | Ruby | Garnet | Ruby Jubilee
41st | —— | Land | —– |
42nd |—— | Improved real estate | —– |
43rd |—— | Travel | —– |
44th | —— | Groceries | Gourmet
45th | Sapphire | Sapphire | Cat’s Eye                                                             
46th | —– | Poetry | —– |
47th | —— | Books | —– |
48th |——| Optical Goods | —– |
49th | —— | Luxuries | —– |
50th | Gold | Gold | Golden Jubilee
55th | Emerald | Emerald, Turquoise | Alexandrite
60th | Diamond | Gold, Diamond | Diamond Jubilee                           
65th | Diamond | Gold | Blue Spinet                                                                 
70th | Diamond | Gold | Sapphire Jublilee                                                   
75th | Platinum | Diamondlike stones, Gold
80th | ——| Diamond | Ruby Jubilee
85th | ——| Diamond| Sapphire
90th | ——| Diamond | Emerald
95th | ——| Diamond | Ruby
100th | ——| 10-carat Diamond

Has the stimulus saved your job or created a new one for you?

I just read in the morning paper that unemployment hit 10% in San Diego county. That’s not as bad as other parts of the country — Michigan 15%; Oregon, South Carolina & Nevada hovering over 12%.

But all these facts and figures thrown out at us made me wonder – who do those number actually represent? Does the California Employment Development Department accurately account for all the people looking for work? Or just those seeking unemployemnt benefits.

I know many people who have lost their jobs, been asked to take unpaid leave or have had their salaries reduced. Many of my friends and neighbors are under-employed. A few I know have given up the hunt all together. A couple recent college graduate friends have decided to work on their master’s degrees, hoping things will improve in the next two years. How are those situations recorded in evaluating the true unemployment picture?

As a freelance writer, I’ve seen my income reduce by nearly 70 percent during the past six months. Magazine editors have fewer pages to fill as their issues shrink in size. Advertising is way down in the print media. As a result, I’m offered fewer and fewer assignments and — because of space limitations — less and less of my article queries are accepted.

So, I’m wondering how it’s going for every one else. How is the current unemployment (under-employment, part-time employment, reduced employment) situation affecting others? Has the stimulus saved your job or created a new one for you?

Move a Little, Lose a Lot

Just by getting on your feet, you can boost your metabolism, lower your blood pressure and increase your mental clarity. Sound too good to be true? I thought so too, until I read, Move a Little, Lose a Lot: New NEAT Science Reveals How to Be Thinner, Happier, and Smarter  (Crown, $23.95, Hardcover) by Dr. James Levine.

Levine argues that we are an obese nation not because we eat too much or don’t exercise enough but because everyday movements like standing, bending and walking around have been erased from our day. “We accept sitting in our offices or our cars all day as ‘the way it is,’ ” says Levine, director of the Mayo Clinic’s Active Life Research Team. “But we never stop to realize that it’s not the way it’s always been, or, more important, the way it was meant to be. We don’t realize how stunningly recent this all-day sitting lifestyle is, or the disastrous consequences it has had in just one generation’s time.”

Research proves that daily NEAT (nonexercise activity thermogenesis) activity burns more calories than a half-hour running on the treadmill. In Levin’s book, you’ll learn how to use the calories you burn each day just going through the motions of life. Move a Little, Lose a Lot is available at local bookstores and online at randomhouse.com or amazon.com.

Swine flu — just another thing for mother to worry about

I often wonder how life would be if I could put my three children inside a bubble where no harm would come to them. I’m sure that I’m not the first mom who has considered this. Truth is, we can’t protect them from everything and we can’t fast-forward through the crummy times. All the panic about swine flu brings to focus how true this is.

We encourage handwashing, supply them with wet-wipes and remind them to cover their mouths if they sneeze. Any more than that is in the hands of the divine — as it always has been and always will be.

I am the Color of the Sun

I am the color of the sun, bright and warm; gentle and strong.

I am the brilliance that brings the promise of spring, hopeful and fresh. I am the vivid yellow of a March-born daffodil, bright and uncompromising; strong and comforting. The birth of dandelions and tulips as they point their head toward the skies.

I am the hue of golden rays to heat up the summer’s day. I am the reason for long hours and lazy afternoons; the flavor explosion in your mouth after biting into a ripe lemon, bitter and tart; sour and sharp. The taste of lemonade and sno-cones and they cool you and slide down your throat.

I am the shade that paints your future and your plans; your fancies and your dreams. I color your promises and your compromises; your victories and your failures

Goldenrod, saffron, lemon twist, dandelion, cornflower, macaroni and cheese, you find me in every one of these. I bring hope, optimism, expectation and fulfillment as only the color snatched from the sun can.

St. Patrick’s Day For the Rest of Us

Other than wearing green when I was in grade school (and getting pinched if I didn’t), I knew very little about St. Patrick’s Day.

That changed some 30 years ago when I met and then married an Irishman who’s birthday just happens to fall on March 17. I became IBM (Irish by Marriage) and had to learn quickly about all things Irish.

I’ve found out that the feast of St. Patrick is not held on his birthday, but rather the anniversary of his death, that a shamrock (unlike a four-leaf clover) has only three leaves and that I’m blessed with the gift of gab, even though I haven’t kissed the Blarney Stone. With encouragement from my mother-in-law, Anna Marie, I find rainbows everywhere and I’m still looking for a leprechaun to lead me to that pot of gold.

For us, St. Patrick’s Day is more than an excuse to drink green beer and add O’ to everything we say. It’s a celebration of those who descended from the lads and lasses of Erin. It’s a day to sing Danny Boy and eat our fill of corned beef and cabbage. But most importantly, it’s a time to take pride in our family and its heritage.

As an ”honorary” Irish gal, I’m proud and happy to share in this original green celebration with my husband, our sons and all those who were born Irish, or wish they were.

Test your Irishness with this “All Things Irish” quiz, courtesy of the History.com.  http://www.history.com/content/stpatricksday/all-things-irish-quiz

Erin Go Bragh!

Is Religion a Hobby?

I read in USAToday that religion is losing ground. That some 15 percent of Americans say they have no religion. And some claim that religion is a hobby — sorta like crocheting or racquetball.

I have to say that the news didn’t surprise me. I’ve seen evidence of a steady decline in what I view as faithful living for several years now. It doesn’t show up on the evening news and you won’t hear about it at happy hour. It rears itself in ugly little ways — sneaking 20 items in the 15-items-or less lane; cutting someone off on the freeway; being too busy to smile and say hello to a passing stranger. These are small, selfish gestures, but they represent our self-centered thinking and they are eroding the foundation of caring for each other — of “doing unto others.”

No one likes to stand in the QuikCheck behind the customer with a full basket or be the victim of rude drivers, but many of us will subject someone else to this behavior. Why is it so hard to part with a smile? It won’t make you late for your next appointment and it might just be what someone needs to take the edge off a difficult day.

It saddens me that so many people are too busy or self-involved to explore their religion, find a new religion or at the very least, have something to believe in. It’s much easier to say there is no God or I have no religion and go about your business. And all around you, the world supports this view.

So yes, as we see a decline in believing in a higher power, we will continue to see an increase in self-centered, angry and selfish behavior. And less and less reason to believe in each other or anything else.

Half the fun is in the getting there

With all the hurry and worry happening in our country today, I’m grateful for my 75 minutes of yoga, three times a week.

It helps me focus on the important things in my life, my husband, my sons, my family, my friends. It helps me stay centered and balanced; to live in the present moment.

My best girlfriends, Carole, always said, “Half the fun is in the getting there.” She’s right. Each day I reaffirm my commitment to enjoy the journey.